The Bush girls. Wow. Those poor girls. Did they write their RNC speech, or did Karl Rove write it for them? Either way, I feel so embarrassed for them. It was on some straight-up lamely-toast-your-dad-at-a-family-dinner-at-Chi-Chi's-after-graduating-from-middle-school-shit, not on any sort of introducing-the-president tip. I thank God every day that I never had to give a speech like that in my life, not even at my first communion or anything. If you didn't see it, the best part was when they were talking about how their parents know nothing about pop culture, and then they were like, "But actually, our parents are pretty cool. If we say we're going to see Outkast, they know we're talking about a band, not a bunch of misfits. And sometimes we can even get them to shake it like a Polaroid picture!" Jesus Christ. Kill me now. It will never be cool to like Outkast again, ever.