So Doomsday. How did the guy who made The Descent, probably the best horror movie of the past five years or so, manage to fuck up his big post-apocalyptic set-piece so completely? Seriously, I'm not exactly a hard guy to please with this stuff. If you make a post-apocalyptic movie, there's a pretty good chance I'll like it. I liked Waterworld, you know? I liked Reign of Fire and the last Resident Evil movie. (First two ones not so much.) And it's not even that Neil Marshall is completely and obviously biting the living hell out of The Road Warrior and Escape From New York, though he definitely is. It's that he managed to put this piece of crap together with no cool villains, no halfway intriguing characters, no comprehensible fight-scenes, no good one-liners. And the scenarios aren't cool or believable; they're just bullshit. Like, for instance, if you were a survivor in walled-off isolated plague-decimated Scotland, would you grow a mohawk and tattoo your face and go all nuts cheering for your roid-freak leader in a big death stadium while he sets intruders on fire and then eats them? Or would you go wear medieval armor and live in a castle and allow a vague philosophy-spouting Malcolm McDowell to become your leader? Because neither of those options looks all that great to me, frankly. Fuck Doomsday.
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Monday, August 04, 2008