Saturday, December 06, 2008

Mongol is a good movie. Although if I was Kazakhstan trying to reboot my national image post-Borat, I probably would've gone with something other than the sweeping epic about motherfuckers running around drunk on fermented milk, stealing each other's wives and horses.

Slumdog Millionaire is a good movie, especially if you go see it with your wife and in-laws who have all spent years in India and know what-all's going on when you're too dumb to figure it out. You probably won't need them or anything, but that's a bonus.

JCVD is just a really really incredibly good movie, and I'm still dizzy from the fact that someone actually went and made it. Someone is awesome. Jean-Claude Van Damme, it turns out, is a really good actor! And incredibly sympathetic in the right light! Also: Refreshingly light on ironic guffaws! And not too much kicking either, at least outside the incredibly whoopass opening single-take action scene. I don't know if I'm ready to call Van Damme a misunderstood and underrated action star, but he did make Bloodsport and Hard Target and Universal Soldier, and I can remember enjoying the hell out of all those. And Timecop, which I think I thought was OK too. And then there's Double Team, which I just started watching in short installments via the Netflix on-demand thing, and that movie is pretty amazing just because it's this fairly big-budget action thing, and yet it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and no scene has anything to do with the scene that came before it.

Quantum of Solace is not a very good movie, even though I am still very much on board with Daniel Craig. James Bond is not Jason Bourne, even though they have the same initials and everything. And you are not Paul Greengrass, guy who directed Quantum of Solace. Hold the goddam camera still.

One of the nice things about not having a job is getting to go to movies in the middle of the day. By myself. Wait, maybe that's not nice. Maybe that's fucking depressing.