Thursday, September 18, 2008

The end-credits music to Lost Boys: The Tribe, the new straight-to-video sequel, is the Hold Steady, "Cattle and the Creeping Things" I think. I have no idea why that's the case. It just makes no sense at all, and it has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. All the other songs on the soundtrack are unbelievably shitty and cheap nu-metal tracks, including one super-obvious and lame remake of the "thou shalt not kill" song from the first movie. In any case, the Hold Steady song is the best thing about the new Lost Boys movie, other than the gore effects, which come up constantly and are pretty cool. The vampires don't just bite people; they sort of eat them. And when they get stabbed, they don't burst into dust; they melt or explode or whatever. So that was good.

But holy God, the second-best actor in the whole movie is motherfucking Corey Feldman, and he delivers all his lines in this rumbling sub-Eastwood growl for absolutely no reason I can figure out. Corey Feldman! We're supposed to think he's a badass! (The main girl, who I guess was on the season of The O.C. that I didn't watch, is OK.) And the main vampire guy is played by Kiefer Sutherland's younger half-brother, and he gives this weird mumbly monotone performance that makes me think the director was scared to actually instruct him in any way on anything. He's supposed to be this charismatic cult-leader guy, and he's just barely there. He's cardboard. It's weird. There's also a lot of pointless extreme-sports stuff, and part of it seems to want to be Point Break: The Tribe. I don't know why I thought this movie might be OK.