It's not online, but Louis Menand's early history of the Village Voice in this week's New Yorker is making me happy today. Turns out that Status Ain't Hood was actually perfectly in keeping with the traditions of a newspaper that always hired younger writers, not paying them much but giving them a place to publish, and then unleashed them on the world without editing them hardly at all. And people wrote these columns with the full knowledge that people would just hate them, sometimes actively encouraging the hate. Also, the paper's staff would turn over every three years or so, and I was there exactly three years. So I'm part of a grand historical lineage! Suck on that, assholes!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it turns out, is really really incredibly boring, probably the worst David Fincher movie ever. And that motherfucker made Alien 3! He fucked up the ending of Aliens, which is like a top ten movie ever for me. But Alien 3 at least had some cool parts, whereas Benjamin Button is all slow-motion sweeping Oscar-bait boringness of the highest order, and I'm starting to think Brad Pitt has altogether forgotten how to act. He's regressing to his Seven Years in Tibet stage or something. Aging backwards. And here comes a mild spoiler, but if the baby Benjamin Button was still a baby-sized baby who just had wrinkles and stuff, how was the super-old Benjamin Button not a six-foot baby? I was really looking forward to the gigantic baby, but no, he has to revert back to baby size again. And the guy from the trailer who I thought was Kurupt turned out to not be Kurupt. Boo.

Beyonce's "Diva" video is stupid.

That's all I got for you guys right now. Quarterly Report probably later this week.